snatched up

Odin had some crazy good fun today.
I want to go outside and hit up the trampoline, but I don't think it's late enough yet to do so without anybody seeing me.

Meh.
Anyway. So Odin leaves in a matter of days. I still have to go through all of his stuff, get all his stuff ready to go, and get the place ready to roach-bomb. Get the cat cleaned up. So on and so forth.
Then I am alone.

Nida should be moving in with me, which is kickass, because I really need a roommate.
I also need to go try to ebay a 3/8 18g. curved barbell. I'm buying some shit I can't technically afford but need-- Well, I don't need that yarn, but it may make a nice swap gift in the end. Oh wells! I needed those navel rings, and considering what they cost in a shop [and the fact that I don't really dig on Wal-Mart body jewelry. Sorry if that makes me a snob, but what the fuck] I got a great fucking deal, 10 navel rings and 2 nostril screws for $11!! Even at Wal-Mart I couldn't get some] shitty nose studs for less that seven bucks. Pshaw.

I made some okay tips today but spent them all on Slurpees. Transformer flavor, which apparently means Mango Passion Fruit, which means it tastes like orange.

Anyway, I hope Nida-bo-Bida moves in! I'm excited. I wants me a roomie and I wants me a neat one.
I also want to get Spirited Away. Why the fuck does Anime cost so damn much?

senor tucan.

What a lazy day.
The most productive thing I did was cleaning up the living room and most of my room. I now have seven loads of unfolded laundry hanging out in my bedroom. On the plus side, I only have to put my dresser back where it belongs and my room is technically in order.

I do need to wash the dishes though. And take out the trash. And take a shower and do some yoga before Jon gets here in TWO HOURS, so I should oughta get my ass in gear, eh?

I finished Nida's Mom's penises today. Whee! Damn my lack of camera. They're pretty fucking adorable. Anyyyyway. I have to make one for Nida now, and another one for myself and do a few other quick-knits while I make baby goods for Angel.

Can I just say that I was so positive Angel was having a girl that I bought pink and lavender yarn four months before she found out what she was having?
I am fucking smart.

Yeah, okay.
Time to go put away a few things and take mine shower. Best to put off the dishes until absolutely last ;)

flash, stop.

So many people said they'd be at Odin's birthday party.
One lady and her little girl showed up. That's it. After I spent all kinds of money and time making up bags of stuff for all the kids, putting up balloons, making a big elaborate and exciting cake. Needless to say, I'm pretty pissed off.
Odin had fun though. He got to run around with Kathryn, got a bunch of new Play-Doh from her, and fun tools to use with it, he got a Spiderman scooter from me, and Alesha and Emily stopped by [at six-thirty, not at two like they said they would for the party, and not with Autumn either] with a bat and baseball and some shirts and the Spiderman movie for him.
Which was nice.

Though I still have this humongous cake, and Odin didn't get to have the fun-packed kids-all-over party that was expected.

I fucking hate it when people break plans! Why did I put 'RSVP' on those anyway? Obviously in West Virginia that means nothing.
Lesigh.

In other news, I hate it when Jon isn't around. Like, really hate it. I mean, I hate it when I'm exhausted [which is always these days, I'm running on 7 hours of sleep in the past three days] and he's here and I pass out, but I sleep so well on him and he's so sweet with me when he wakes me up, and when we sleep together at night he's warm and cuddly and awesome. We watch nerdy stuff together [lately it's been Avengers cartoons] and he gets so excited. Last night he yelled "Oh my god, they don't know he's Iron Man!" With such enthusiasm that my heart nearly exploded.
We have fabulous sex and cuddle all the time; When he walks past me he runs his hand along my back or whisper-breathes into my ear and I want to scream [but usually can't because we're at work when he does this]...
I love his kisses and how he smells oh-so good, and the way my head fits perfectly against his collarbones, and how he bends to kiss my forehead while we're snuggling, watching cartoons.
He works like I do in the kitchen, messy and all over the place, fast and efficient, checking temps and labelling things like we're supposed to but mostly nobody ever does. I like shifts where we both work because I'm not the only one in the doing-too-much-at-once boat; I have someone to share all the responsibility, someone who helps me make sure everything is accomplished and done properly to boot. And we can secretly meet up in dry storage or the main cooler or by the ice machine for kisses. Sometimes by the prep table, though the camera is likely to bust us for that one of these days.
And I guess the point of my Jon Ramble is that when he's not here all I can think about is how I'd like for him to be.
We're going to take a vacation in August. Ocean City for five days is the plan. It's going to be fabulous, just Jon and me and delicious crab for eating and the ocean. The ocean!

Oh, I'm so sleepy. And my hair is reddish. Darkish Dark-Auburn, new as of approximately six am today. Courtesy of Nida, who is doing my bangs next. Yay! I really need to clean the kitchen. The trash is overflowing, there is cake all over the place, and there is an entire load and a half of dishes. But I'm so tired and achy and have a tinge of a headache and would really rather just sit here and putz around for a bit and then knit something. I want to start a load of laundry too. I have no clean Odin undies, and that's a necessity.

Blah.
BLAH!

slam the flap.

So it's thunderstorming outside.
After I post this away I go to light a blue candle.

My foot is asleep.
There are still roaches in my apartment, but I feel better about things.
My back feels like someone pried it apart and then stuck it back together, only it doesn't want to stay. But in a good way.
I need to mail Ben his hat that he has been so fucking patient for.
I must needs finish those dicks for Nida's Mom/Josie. Josie asked me about it, but understands the Roach Priority. I also must needs pick up on the knitting, for I could be getting paid for things. And the boy wants some knitted goods, and I heart that boy.

I've been thinking a lot about my next tattoo. I want to do my collarbone eyes before I do my Alice tattoo, and maybe all my symbols before that too.
I DON'T KNOW.
I need to go to bed.
This eyeliner is never gonna come off.
Liquid eyeliner, how I love you. I FUCKING LOVE YOU.

I miss Jon sometimes when he's not around. Last night we just hung out and did literally nothing. We watched The Dark Crystal and some Invader Zim, we had popcorn and Tostitos and I manhandled him leisurely before reading Cosmo and eventually falling asleep snuggled into him.
Which is super nice.

Anyway, it's after twelve, and I have to be up at six for to get ready for das workplace. Motherfuck work. I have to make fudge, I knows it. Let's hope those fuckers didn't sell all the sandwiches I made, for I am tired of making 50 sandwiches at a time.
There is only so much ham one person should have to handle in her lifetime, and I am dangerously close to maxxing that out.
O! Jon works with me tomorrow! :D

Fabulous.

it's my body

A Non-Cockroach Related Post::

The swap is going well. Participants are filling out their questionnaires and chit-chatty-ing, and it seems that only goth kids signed up, lol. So we're having a Goth Swap, yay!
I feel like I should order some cutesy handmade needles with bats on them for my swap partner. Since I'm organizing it I get to pick whomever I want! Yay!! That's always exciting for me.

Anyway, I need to clean up the kitchen and get the laundry put away and floor swept, because tonight Nida and Jon are coming over to play Battle Of The Sexes [and hopefully so Jon can give me snuggles. Definitely so he can give me snuggles. I require them.] and whatnot. And I must needs knit some penises [lol] for Nida's Mom [more lol] and at least start on Francheley's phone case.

Plus, tomorrow I train Nida in Creamery! Wait. I think it's tomorrow. Maybe it's Wednesday. Must be tomorrow. Uh, wait.

Okay, anyway.

I'm off now, to clean out these coolers and then wash some dishes and counters, and then spray some cabinets out. And make dinner, omg. So many things to do. And some fucking yoga.
I NEED TO DO SOME YOGA BEFORE I SCREAM.

our only lead.

I hate this place.
Apartment, not blog.

Poor Odin fell asleep as I was making him dinner. But that's okay, I can go spray his baseboards now. I've thrown out so many things this weekend. And I don't have much left to clean. I do need someplace to put my dishes so I can spray the kitchen table underside down.

These motherfuckers need to die.

I do not want to get back to doing this. At least right now I can forget about cleaning and just rearrange my bedroom for awhile.
Sigh.

I could use a giant fireball about now.

Update::

When cleaning out my dresser drawers I discovered a small cache of roaches living inside. So I sprayed the motherfuck out of that dresser and am going to clean it out. Later.
I got my whole closet cleaned and sprayed, but discovered a drip from the ceiling that had soaked up the rug I've been storing, which was covered in INCHES of mold--by that I mean inches THICK, and what looked like more maggots, just before they hatched.
And I wonder, why the fuck did I move to this state? [But then I remember, and I sigh and throw up and clean up the mess]

So I tossed the rug out the window [managing to keep all those little unhatched motherfuckers inside it while I did so, go me] and learned that the floor of the air vent-thing closet is half rotten away thanks to said drip.

Anyway. I sprayed the living fuck out of my closet [because there's a drop ceiling in there and in my bathroom, likely due to ventilation because of laundry room/bathroom-ings and whatnot], and I need to get up and spray the baseboards of Odin's room ASAP.
But I needed to sit down for a moment. I just freaking had to.

Odin has shit himself three times today.
Something I expected during this getting-over-pullups phase.
But I didn't expect him to not tell me he had done so. All three times. It's very frustrating.

I still have everything in my room to sort through, to put away, and to rearrange. My room looks like I just moved in, all the electronics piled on top of each other, my mattress leaning against the wall, etc.
All my yarn and sewing and art stuff to sort through.
Seven loads of laundry to fold and put away.

But I had to sit down and have a cup of juice.
I'd like to have some beers.
You know what?
I'm going to have a damn beer.

nice job keeping quiet.

Thus begins day two.

So far today I have done nothing but sleep until nearly noon and make breakfast. I'm having a coffee.
I'm getting ready to go and clean through my bedroom. That's where all the real piles of stuff are, things that need to be sorted through for fear of roaches.
Lesigh.

I have the best boyfriend in the world. I can't believe all the disgusting things he did for me last night. I guess that sounds kinda dirty.

Anyway. I want to ramble on and just forget about the buggy house I'm living in, but I also have to clean up the kitchen cupboards [I don't think homeboy sprayed the under-cabinets] and wash the *clean* dishes that were in the sink when we sprayed, wash counters, so on and so forth.

But I'm not ready to put things back in my cupboards.
Not yet.
Not for awhile.

:/

that one girl

So.
I spent the entire day cleaning out rooms of my house... Everything but my room and closet/laundry room actually.
And at two am, Jon and Nida came over, as I was finishing washing dishes [having taken everything out of all of my cupboards, my dining room table now covered in dishes and ALL my food in my fridge]. And upon discovering I was out of spray they ran to WalMart for me.
And.
Well.
Jon and I took out all the trash and all the rugs that are now trash, and all of Odin's old toys I was setting out for free takings, and then he started to spray inside my cupboards for me.
And then he moved the fridge.

And Nida screamed. I couldn't look. I ran to the bathroom and gagged, but managed to not vomit.
He moved the stove [not so bad, actually, and only a couple stray bugs] too. After awhile the sweetheart swept up all the corpses and took them outside. He sprayed the baseboards of my living room and promised me that after Odin goes to stay with Doug we're going to bomb the apartment and afterward he's going to help me clean everything, we'll spend a whole day together cleaning up my place.

I think my landlord is a dickhead.
I think I should live someplace else, but who knows what it would be like there?
I think I'm proud of myself for not puking when Jon discovered a hundred or so roaches behind/under my refrigerator.
I think tomorrow when I clean up my room and my closet I'm also going to spray the baseboards in Odin's room and the hallway and then take him outside for several hours, all at once, with trips inside only so he can use the potty.

But I'm glad. Ivan is flea-free, my kitchen has been drastically cleaned, I got rid of a lot of things I don't use or want or need, I rearranged the stuff hanging on my walls and my furniture, I got an air conditioner, and my house reeks of lemon thanks to Raid.

But it's 5:30 am, and I'm far from sleep.
Every time I close my eyes I see bugs.
Every time my bangs brush my face I think it's bugs.
Soon enough I'm gonna go crawl in with Odin and try desperately to not think of bugs.

City Morgue.

I live in a filthy home of filthy piggy filth.
I'm exaggerating of course, but you get my point.

On to the facts: I've become sort of a clean freak, due to having guests all the time and not wanting them to think I'm a piggy /having nothing much to do other than hanging out in my house and liking it to be clean while I do so /living someplace hot as hell and not wanting to feel sticky AND dirty.

But my neighbors who just moved, who I shared a wall with, were little filthy piggies, and their entire floor [ENTIRE FLOOR] had to be ripped up so the apartment could be sprayed for roaches.
And what do roaches do when their home is suddenly noxious? Why, they move into Stephanie's squeaky-clean bug-free home and set up shop. Lovely things have happened lately, such as:

1. I opened a cupboard for a plate for my sandwich last night and a roach turned and looked at me quizzically, as if to say "What are you doing in my cupboard?"
2. While putting on my makeup before work a roach crawled along the ceiling and stopped [I swear] to watch me put on eyeliner before wandering away into the ceiling.
3. I have found them in my underwear drawer even. They like my panties.

Not to mention Ivan had fleas [he got bathed/combed yesterday, but I am going to do it again today after the Total House Cleaning that's taking place currently] and I came home yesterday to discover my floor mysteriously covered in maggots.
Mysteriously. There was no trash around, nothing.
Okay, there was one popsicle wrapper, not even 24 hours old, sitting on the rug.
I've had to throw out all the rugs. I'm trying hard to salvage Odin's roadway rug, but we'll see what happens.

So far today I've cleaned out the entire inside of the sofa [I even shook that bitch upside down, got the bedrooms pre-emptively vacuumed, and gotten two loads of the ton of laundry done. I've got to take down the drapes, clean out the DVD dresser [that the new giant TV that Jon brought me sits upon] to make sure no buggies live inside it, clean the fuck out of the windows, take down everything on the shelves and dust like crazy, and then sweep the floor and scour that bitch.
And then I must move on to the next room [which is NOT the kitchen, I can't handle that until later, when the heat goes down a little bit. Not to mention that's where the buggies are the worst so I may as well drive the rest of them there first, right? Who wants a deluge of bugs running all over back and forth all day long?]

If only I could find that long-lost ten dollar bill so I could buy an additional can of roach spray! I have two cans that are one-third full, plus a can of flying insect spray for the fruit flies.
High-five being friends with the Apartment Manager. Dr. Landlord isn't fazed by roaches in the least; This is no big thing for him.

For me, it's been a vomit-fest since day one.

silly punk.

I'm about to make some Strawberry Bread. Um. Right after I put away the dishes and wash the other dishes and stuff. It's getting late and Odin should get in bed within the hour, but the past few days have been rainy and no-good and I feel bad that he can't run around outside.
Yesterday I had to get a ride home because it was raining so hard.
Today it is raining just as hard, but it waited until I had already gotten here to start.
It's no fun for a little boy to be trapped inside with nothing but his insane kitty and the same toys he's been playing with forever and his Mom. Plus, in addition to the rain, it's like 90 degrees. It's like I live in a rainforest.

Working out is going alright. I had an assload of pizza for dinner, but it had only cheese and tomatoes and I didn't eat the crust [ok, mostly I scraped the cheese and sauce off with my teeth, haha].
Dieting will be easier when I live alone, because I can manage to have rather little in the house then, just veggies and fruit and fish and yogurt. And that will work pretty well.

Yeah, anyway. I'm going to cast on and knit some hat tonight too. I should get going... That means I have like four hours to clean the kitchen and bake, put Odin in bed, work out [for an hour], take a shower, finish the laundry, and knit.
Oh geez. Can a girl get a Saturday Afternoon uploaded yesplease?

half the man.

And so.
Many things have happened since the fateful day the computer decided to become anti-interwebs.
Odin had a great time at the carnival. I had a great time watching him be super happy, running around playing games and winning prizes.
Jon bought me flowers. =D He got Odin a car; Odin loves that car.
Alesha is a fucking sociopath, long story, moral is we don't talk anymore and I think that is the best thing to happen in forever.
Jon and I are going to go to Ocean City in August! Hence, I am on a diet. And crazy exercising. Well. Not "crazy". Sensibly. I still eat, I just don't eat nearly as much. And I did some weight-training for my arms and shoulders, and a cardio/pilates combination, and yoga. And so I have two months to get into suitable swimsuit shape. Le sigh. I'm sitting here soaked in sweat slugging down yet more water... I've had a shitload of water today.
Last night I pierced Nida's lip! We lost the ball for her labret stud and had to drive to Wal-Mart at two am with a darning needle stuck in her lip. But she's a trooper and it's fucking cute as shit. I'm cleaning up my Wilton's box for her, and she's bringing me nose studs and a kitty, and her old camera. Yay! Tomorrow I train her in Creamery; She's going to love making coffees.
I am like, twenty minutes away from my fabulous new knit penis lip gloss holder keychain jigger. Hot damn if I'm not going to clip it right to my work badge. loooolololol.
Nida and I considered being strippers for monies, but Jon said "I don't date strippers" and that pretty much killed that idea. New plan: selling tarot readings and cheap, back-room piercings out of my house. And maybe knit penises.

Anyway, I have to finish this dick and take a shower and get the fuck into bed. I'm doing another not-sleeping thing this week.
I definitely went to bed at four am last night.
And I'd like to get up at six-ish so I can do some yoga before I need to get ready for work. I must needs slim the fuck down!
Don't get me wrong. I don't think I'm fat. I just want to finally shed the baby-fat. Just get rid of it.

Oh, and here's a trip:: I'm saving money. How strange. Though I'm fairly likely to drop $52 for a five-color Manic Panic eyeshadow box in NEONS, omgomgomg.

as long as you like.

I've been breaking down into tears randomly all day.
This is only going to get worse as the Countdown to Odin's Departure continues.
I've been trying to keep busy. Busy-ish.
Today I made out Odin's Birthday Invitations, yay. We're having a picnic-cookout sort of deal. Jon's going to cook stuff which means I don't have to :)

I've got a stupid food stamps renewal appointment tomorrow, which is sort of silly. My aid expires at the end of the month, and at the end of the month Odin leaves. But there's always a chance they'll give me some for just me, so I guess that's a good thing. Also keeping on the books is good because it's so hard to get appointments around here.
Which reminds me to tell daycare tomorrow that Odin's last day is coming. :(
Arg, I can't do this right now. I had so much to say earlier.
Maybe if I go put in some laundry things will get better.


Aaaaargh. I'm going to go do some yoga and knit.
Ha! That stupid cat has been shredding my yoga mat. The mothefucker!

If I was reincarnated as a dog

It is approximately one thousand degrees outside.
I am being motherfucking lazy and not doing my yoga. I am, however, knitting. That tie that I was making for Graham.
Which I am not making for Graham any longer.
Which I am making for... Who knows.
I think I'm going to try to get a swap together on Ravelry, maybe in the Goth Knitters group. A random sort of affair.
I don't know.
I need to get some knitting accomplished, for I feel a great need to actually produce a finished object. It's been ages. AGES. And I'd like to have Doug's socks actually completed.
I need to get some writing accomplished.
While Odin is gone I have three goals:
1. Get my license in order.
2. Produce at least one FO a week.
3. Produce, in addition to whatever I write for class, at least one story or three poems of quality a week.

So there.
That's all I have to say really. I want to knit some more of this tie [one foot left to knit, give or take, and then only the end to block [it was way too short the first time I thought it was finished lol], and the whole shebang to line. I have a lot of frogging to do too. Yay! I love to frog.
Such a sense of total annihilation.

Anyway. It's hard to knit and type coherent thought and text with the boyfriend and also follow hilarious MySpace writer's group threads.
Byeeeee.

it's late, and there's school tomorrow.

I have a problem.
With lip gloss.
At CVS today like half the makeup was %50 off or more. I got a couple of things for a dollar [SIX DOLLARS OFF APIECE omgggmgmg.g], I got some more stuff, and I got some lip gloss.
Now, this is why I have a problem::
All but a few shades of it were half off. But not the shade that I wanted, the perfect shade of pink. So I spent as much on that lip gloss as I spent on an eyebrow pencil/tweezer/brush combo thing, an eyeliner, concealer, and a mascara. And some Q-tips. And superglue. And nail polish [white]. Arg, I desire more nail polish. Blaaaaack, acid-yellow. And bright Whore Red.
Omggg.
I'm thinking of pulling off some rhinestoned fake eyelashes at work one of these days. Wheeeee. You know the day I wear 'em I'd be stuck in the kitchen though, and they'd get a-covered in grease, yuck.

In other news, Odin leaves soon. By "soon" I mean in 25 days. Which is ridiculously soon. I'm trying my best to be as positive as possible about things. Jon is being the biggest support ever.
We have some loose plans, I'll have time to really be *with* him, etc. Things I'd love to be able to do now will magically become options...
Lying in bed late in the morning, snuggling and fighting over the covers and fending off the cat,
Going places to hang out other than my living room or the park,
Being able to go out to the bar if I/we feel like it,
Getting to really work on my art. Having real time to write, to cast, to knit, to devote an entire morning to yoga.
All sorts of stuff really.
You get the point.

And yet I'm so ripped apart. I keep falling apart, sobbing, screaming. I feel like someone is choking me. I think my heart has been ripped out of my chest and replaced with a new, spiny one. One that rips at my insides.

Arg, that's enough. Fuck being sad.
I'm sick of being sad.
It's hard though.
But at least I'm not alone.